“When I get my fams on the cunning shaver who left me with this fakement, I’ll annoint him with the oil of gladness.”

OR: ‘When I get my hands on the cheat who left me with this forgery, I will beat him to a pulp.’

Let’s break it down:

FAMS: Hands. Famble cheats; rings or gloves.
CUNNING SHAVER: a sharp fellow, one that trims close, i.e. cheats ingeniously
FAKEMENT: A counterfeit signature. A forgery. Tell the macers to mind their fakements; desire the swindlers to be careful not to forge another person’s signature.
OIL OF GLADNESS: I will anoint you with the oil of gladness; ironically spoken for, I will beat you.

-all from the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue by Francis Grose