“I set about kittle pitchering any tom long with a circumbendibus chestnut as soon as I see ’em.”

Let’s dissect:

KITTLE PITCHERING. A jocular method of hobbling or bothering a troublesome teller of long stories: this is done by contradicting some very immaterial circumstance at the beginning of the narration, the objections to which being settled, others are immediately started to some new particular of like consequence; thus impeding, or rather not suffering him to enter into, the main story. Kittle pitchering is often practised in confederacy, one relieving the other, by which the design is rendered less obvious.  (1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue by Francis Grose)

TOM LONG. A tiresome story teller. It is coming by Tom Long, the carrier; said of any thing that has been long expected. (1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue by Francis Grose)

Circumbendibus – round about; a story with no end to it (1891 American Slang Dictionary by James Maitland)

Chestnut – an old story; an often repeated yarn.  The average chestnut of the ‘dago’ fruit stand has claims to respect on account of its age, but is not desirable as an article of diet, and ancient stories are equally tiresome (1891 American Slang Dictionary by James Maitland)

So, to sum up:  “I start immediately and humorously undermining the stories of any tiresome story teller with a round about, often repeated yarn.”